Overview

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Turkey Shopping

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn’t find one big enough for her family.

She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy answered, [Continued...]

Thanksgiving and Our Patriotic Duty

“Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty.” – Michael Dresser

The Politically Correct Twelve Days of Christmas

On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter festival, my potential-acquaintance-abuse-survivor gave to me,

TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,

ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made up of members in [Continued...]

Easter Eggs

“Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter. Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Christmas.”

Ash Trays for Mother’s Day

“It was different when we were kids. In second grade, a teacher came in and gave us all a lecture about not smoking, and then they sent us over to arts and crafts to [Continued...]

Fractured Christmas Carols

Listen very closely when kids sing Christmas carols, This is what you just might hear!

Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly…
We three kings of porridge and tar…
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to [Continued...]

Twenty Ways to Confuse Santa Claus

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he’s in the house, go find his sleigh and write him [Continued...]