Here is a list of “home remedies” and “life rules” that shouldn’t be used under any circumstances! You have been warned…

• If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
• Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
• Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
• High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
• A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.
• If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
• Have a bad toothache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will forget about the toothache.
• Simple rules for living: You really only need only two tools – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn’t, use the duct tape.