Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as [Continued...]
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Two goobers go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods – they spent a [Continued...] The minister delivered his Sunday morning service as usual but this particular Sunday it was considerably longer than normal. However, it was so well prepared and had so many wonderful scripture quotations he just knew [Continued...] A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to [Continued...] 1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8 + 2 = 98 123 x 8 + 3 = 987 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765 123456 x 8 + 6 [Continued...] When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for [Continued...] Several years ago a mother gave her son two quarters. One was for his Sunday School offering. The other was for an ice cream cone on the way home from Sunday School. One Sunday, Billy was flipping [Continued...] Dr. Karl Menninger, the famous psychiatrist, once gave a lecture on mental health, and then answered questions from the audience. “What would you advise a person to do,” asked one man, “if that person felt [Continued...] After Quasimodo’s death, the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and [Continued...] My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out. “I know,” he replied. “It’s a fad me and some of the guys started.” Weeks [Continued...] God, I dedicate my life today to the care of those who come my way. Give to my heart, compassion and understanding. Give to my hands skill and tenderness. Give to my ears the ability to [Continued...] A taxpayer received a strongly worded “second notice” that his taxes were overdue. Hastening to the collector’s office, he paid his bill, saying apologetically that he had overlooked the first notice. “Oh,” confided the collector with [Continued...] The new Librarian decided that instead of checking out children’s books by writing the names of borrowers on the book cards herself, she would have the youngsters sign their own names. She would then tell [Continued...] A group of senior citizens were sitting around talking about their ailments: “My arms are so weak I can hardly hold this cup of coffee,” said one. “Yes, I know. My cataracts are so bad I [Continued...] Ducking into confession with a turkey in his arms, Brian said, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I stole this turkey to feed my family. Would you take it and settle my guilt?” “Certainly not,” [Continued...] THINGS I DID TO DESERVE THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE by Barack Obama Here is a list of “home remedies” and “life rules” that shouldn’t be used under any circumstances! You have been warned… If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of [Continued...] Three goobers were walking in the country one day. They saw a set of tracks and started arguing over what kind of tracks they were. The first goober said, “I think they’re deer tracks!” The second goober [Continued...] Julie tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles. One day, she told her problem to a friend she worked with at a [Continued...] What does this button do? |
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