Gaining weight is easy... it just snacks up on you.

The trouble with some people is that they'd rather pray for forgiveness than fight temptation.

The law requiring children to attend school should be amended to make it mandatory that they learn something.

God has not promised skies always blue, flower-strewn pathways all our life through; God has not promised sun without rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain. But God has promised strength for the day, rest for the laborer, light for the way; Grace for the trials, help from above, unfailing sympathy, undying love.

Some people are so well rounded they have no point of direction.

If someone were to pay you ten cents for every kind word you ever spoke about people, and collect five cents for every unkind word, would you be rich or poor?

Rembrandt painted 700 pictures and Americans have all 5,000 of them.

I'm always willing to give advice, but my best advice is not to take my advice just because it's my advice.

The safest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it in your pocket.

The tendency of modern science is to reduce proof to absurdity by continually reducing absurdity to proof.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.

Gossip is indicative of two things: an empty heart and an empty head.

It is nice to be popular, but it is more popular to be nice.

The nearer you live to the world, the less power you have over it.

Learn to wait on God for the unfolding of His will.

The poorest of all men is not the one without a cent, but the one without a dream.