Attempt great things for God. Expect great things from God.

Age is a matter of mind. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Air is called atmosphere when we want it to sound important (child).

An alarm clock is a device that is meant to scare the daylights into you, and that makes people "rise and whine."

All the worlds religions involve man trying to reach up to God... except Ghristianity. In Christianity, God reaches down to man.

I am the greatest criminal in history. I have killed more men than have fallen in all the wars of all the world. I have turned men into brutes. I have made millions of homes unhappy. I have changed many promising young men into hopeless parasites. I destroy the weak and weaken the strong. I make the wise man a fool and I ensnare the innocent. I have ruined millions and shall try to ruin millions more. I am alcohol.

When asked to define "apathy," one person said, "Apathy is something I'm neither for nor against."

An archaeologist is a man whose career lies in ruins.

Bad habits are like a comfortable bed, easy to get into, but hard to get out of.

A banker is a man who will loan you money if you can prove to him you don't need any.

A baseball fan is a spectator sitting 500 feet from home plate who can see better than an umpire five feet away.

The Bible is a window in this prison-world through which we may look into eternity.

Big shots are usually "small shots" who kept on shooting.

The brain is the only part of the human machine that doesn't wear out. Probably because the brain is the only part that is never overworked.

Car sickness is the feeling you get each month when the payment comes due.

A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become famous and well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.