Love your enemies; it will drive them nuts. - Eleanor Doan

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1. Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2. Advising the President. 3. Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. - David Letterman

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. - Johnny Carson

A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit. - In the August 1993 issue, page 9, of PS magazine, the Army's magazine of preventive maintenance

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled. - Plutarch

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." - Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" [Charles Schulz]

Calvin: People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.
Hobbes: Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?

What is a committee? A group of the unwilling, picked from the unfit, to do the unnecessary. - Richard Harkness, The New York Times, 1960

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it--and stop there; lest we be like the cat that sits down on a hot stove-lid. She will never sit down on a hot stove-lid again, and that is well; but also she will never sit down on a cold one anymore. - Mark Twain

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. - F.P. Jones

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. - Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See

One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar. -Helen Keller

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." - Charles Lamb

"Make it a rule…never, if possible, to lie down at night without being able to say, “I have made one human being at least a little wiser, a little happier or a little better this day.” - Charles Kingsley (1819-1875) Clergyman and Writer

"It is literally true that you can succeed best and quickest by helping others to succeed." - Napoleon Hill, Author

Faultfinding without suggestions for improvement is a waste of time. Ralph C. Smedley (1878-1965) Founder of Toastmasters