There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.

A penny saved is a government oversight.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat are really good friends.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.

Did you ever notice: When you put together "THE" and "IRS," it spells "THEIRS.

Don't argue with an idiot. People watching may not be able to tell the difference.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." - Theodore Roosevelt

It’s a good thing to have all the props pulled out from under us occasionally. It gives us some sense of what is rock under our feet, and what is sand. - Madeleine L’Engle, Writer

Be not afraid of growing slowly; be afraid only of standing still.

"All exact science is dominated by the idea of approximation." - Bertrand Russell