The minister delivered his Sunday morning service as usual but this particular Sunday it was considerably longer than normal. However, it was so well prepared and had so many wonderful scripture quotations he just knew it would be a big hit with the congregation.
At the end of the service he stood shaking hands with parishioners as they exited. One man paused and said, “Your sermon, Pastor, was simply wonderful – so invigorating and inspiring and refreshing.”
About the time the minister broke out in a big smile the man completed his comment by adding, “Why I felt like a new man when I woke up!”
“We are saved by God’s mercy, not by our merit – by Christ’s dying, not by our doing.”
“Worldly values are a poor investment – they never pay what they promise.”
A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth.
Turning to the man next to him, he said, “I forgot my teeth.”
The man said, “No problem.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of false teeth. “Try these,” he said.
The speaker tried them on. “Too loose,” he said.
The man then said, “I have another pair — try these.”
The speaker tried them on and responded, “Too tight.”
The man was not taken back at all. He said, “I have one more pair. Try them.”
The speaker said, “They fit perfectly.”
With that, he ate his meal and gave his speech. After the dinner meeting was over, the speaker went to thank the man who had helped him.
“I want to thank you for coming to my aid. Where is your office? I’ve been looking for a good dentist.”
The man replied, “I’m not a dentist. I’m an undertaker.”
“My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.” ― Milton Berle
“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” ― Mark Twain
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.”
“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep.” – Jalaluddin Rumi
“Strategic planning is worthless unless there is first a strategic vision.” – John Naisbitt
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 [Continued...]
“God always provides what we need, but we must be ready to open our eyes and see it.” – The Midrash
“God has granted you the morning, but he does not promise the evening. Spend each day as if it were your last.” – Lawrence Scupoli
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“This is the beginning of a new day. God has given you this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good, but what you do today is important, [Continued...]
When a guy’s printer type began to grow faint, he called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed him that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned.
Because the store charged $50 for [Continued...]
Several years ago a mother gave her son two quarters.
One was for his Sunday School offering. The other was for an ice cream cone on the way home from Sunday School.
One Sunday, Billy was flipping [Continued...]
Dr. Karl Menninger, the famous psychiatrist, once gave a lecture on mental health, and then answered questions from the audience. “What would you advise a person to do,” asked one man, “if that person felt [Continued...]
After Quasimodo’s death, the Bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed.
The Bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and [Continued...]
My teenager was headed to school one morning when I told him that the neck tag on his shirt was hanging out.
“I know,” he replied. “It’s a fad me and some of the guys started.”
Weeks [Continued...]
God, I dedicate my life today to the care of those who come my way.
Give to my heart, compassion and understanding. Give to my hands skill and tenderness. Give to my ears the ability to [Continued...]
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