“You know my whole life I have been complaining that my work was constantly interrupted, until I discovered that my interruptions were my work.”
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“You know my whole life I have been complaining that my work was constantly interrupted, until I discovered that my interruptions were my work.” Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State police officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, “This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!” So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies–two in the front seat and three in the back–wide-eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?” “Ma’am,” the officer replies, “you weren’t speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers.” “Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly 22 miles an hour!”, the old woman says a bit proudly. The officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that “22″ was the highway number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. “But before I let you go, ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven’t muttered a single peep this whole time,” the officer asks. “Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Highway 119.” “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” – Woodrow Wilson “Even if we can’t be happy, we must always be cheerful.” – Irving Kristol “We have to hold our own cup. We have to dare to say: ‘This is my life, the life that is given to me, and it is this life that I have to live, as well as I can. My life is unique. Nobody else will ever live it. Many people can help me to live my life, but after all is said and done, I have to make my own choices about how to live.’” – Henri Nouwen “When you have laboriously accomplished your daily tasks, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” – Victor Hugo Two goobers go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment – the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods – they spent a [Continued...] Ephesians 6 Children tend to think they [Continued...] “Things could be worse – suppose your errors were published every day like the baseball players.” There’s an old saying, “Erasers are for people who make errors.” A better expression is, “Erasers are for people who are willing to correct their mistakes.” The minister delivered his Sunday morning service as usual but this particular Sunday it was considerably longer than normal. However, it was so well prepared and had so many wonderful scripture quotations he just knew [Continued...] “We are saved by God’s mercy, not by our merit – by Christ’s dying, not by our doing.” “Worldly values are a poor investment – they never pay what they promise.” A dinner speaker was in such a hurry to get to his engagement that when he arrived and sat down at the head table, he suddenly realized that he had forgotten his false teeth. Turning to [Continued...] “My doctor recently told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.” ― Milton Berle “If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” ― Mark Twain “Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” “Strategic planning is worthless unless there is first a strategic vision.” – John Naisbitt 1 x 8 + 1 = 9 12 x 8 + 2 = 98 123 x 8 + 3 = 987 1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876 12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765 123456 x 8 + 6 [Continued...] |
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